Past

he said...

" Why do there is a past ? the only thing i know…is that..it makes us being a better person..much better…

Should we look at it ? yes…but don’t get too long on it..just take the essential part..and try to be the better of it, try it with all good abilities you have."

then i wrote this in his journal... but now i realize it more than just a comment...

"My Dear Sunshine..

Rough times are some of life’s most generous teachers. When viewed from a wide perspective, these difficult yesterdays transform into beautiful todays.

Sunshine.. stumbles wake us up and they often show us that we’ve taken the wrong path. We see, perhaps for the first time, that if we had not stumbled, we would not be standing as straight and strong at this moment.

I hope you’ll remember this.. Allow the first chapter of our story to teach us, no matter how difficult it might have been. Just let it be valuable lessons that inspire our future."

I do have rough times yesterdays and I do learn to make it beautiful todays... Every day!

I want my alpha men

Dating is a necessarily painful part of the single life and finding the perfect man is like finding the pin in stack of straw - it requires skill, planning, patience and a large dose of luck. Could I get one?

I want a man who pats me on the head because he thinks I'm adorable inner and outer, not only because physical attraction.

I want a man who has positive outlook and regard for himself and others.

I want a man who has a large capacity to accept love and give and express love.

I want a man who needs to enjoy life, have a positive spirit, lots of energy, and have a passion for his life.

I want a man who is cleverer than me but doesn't realise it, because he's not so competitive and insecure for that kind of thing to cross his mind.

I want a man who understands that I have good reason to be angry, and that reason isn't only bullies.

I want a man who doesn't think that my asking him to help is nagging.

I want a man who can accept the bad things I've done in the past (and realise everyone could make mistakes).

I want a man who understands that, unless I give permission, there's only one entrance. And if it's a bit further forward?, thank you very much.

I want a man who will give me space and let me do my own thing, but be there at my back and call if my own thing includes him.

I want a man who isn't afraid to do things the old fashioned way: playing guitar in front of me, doing something called romantic only for me because he is deeply in love with me.

I want a man Who wants to know all about my family, my work, my activities, or either I need his help not just my bra size.

I want a man who occasionally patronises me, only in an affectionate way, and sometimes makes me feel like a little girl who needs looking after.

I want a man who adores every inch of me, good and bad, flabby and firm, thin and thick, happy and sad, clever and stupid, spotty and stripy, consistent and then not so, confused yet certain.

I want a man who tells me when I am too much.

I want a man who is reliable!! In all things..

I want a man wise beyond his years.

I want a man with attitude.

Am I asking too much?

I am Me.

when i wake up every morning, and take a glimpse in the mirror.. i see no perfect eye... mine is unbalanced folds between the left and right and so with the eyebrows. i see no perfect lips.. there is little wound in left corner of my lips... i see no perfect nose.. but i no need to do a nose job afterall.. and then... skin... hohoho... another imperfection i found, bigger pore near the T area, trace of acne in nose... i don't get it why it always choose my nose.. haha... for the entire appearing of this start-to-be a woman is still gleaming within imperfection.


i grow up in low self of esteem. imagine it self. be tall and skinny at that time isn't pretty. with a brown skin colour to exposed under the sun when i go out to play around make sibling start to call me "si hitam manis". and it still added with unorderly structure of teeth. having me to wore that platinum little square in every teeth in suffering with sprues. my mum keep say a short hair i'll be prettier. and i do like it, energetic young me love short hair :)

bigger in every year -in all af part of my bodies- growing solid bosom be an embarassing moment, i never walk upright because i think lot of people looking 'it' afterall i think it's to big for my skinny body... this is my time start to learn about my body, to love each every part, to lookout in every little thing I called treatment as i realize what the mean of "pretty". there are no spa or beauty care time in salon. it'll be enough to clean and tidy looks.

and i get attention that i need as a blooming girl, when i start to like boys it be an important thing to get :) haha...


i am me, i won't change for anyone...